How Not to Watch Netflix on a School Night

Right as I walk home from an exhausting day of school, I hear the silent calls of Netflix ringing through the halls of my home. It is hard to ignore its persistence—it beckons to me with the promise of a four-hour marathon of Gilmore Girls. So I think to myself, “how can I say no? I will only watch one episode.” Let’s just say, it is never just one episode. The sun has long set by the time I awake from my trance, and I soon realize that I just wasted a few good hours that I could have been productive.

So I am here today, ladies and gentleman, to provide you the ultimate guide on how NOT to watch Netflix on a school night. Because let’s be honest, everyone has fallen into this trap, and it is very hard to get out of.

The first step to success is to eat some food. Right when you get home, walk to the refrigerator and make a small afternoon snack. Not only will this break Netflix’s heart to see your attention elsewhere, but your stomach will be satisfied and tell your brain to do something productive. Whether it’s walking your dog or making another snack, anything is better than having your attention wander back to Netflix.

The second step to success is to do your homework. Yes, I know this seems boring—I mean, who really wants to do homework? Just keep in mind that your grade will prosper from this simple act, and Netflix will no longer be to blame for your dropping grades. Depending on the night, homework may take anywhere from one to three hours. As you open up your crammed backpack, you silently thank yourself for that afternoon snack. Beat that, Netflix.

The third step to success is…. Uh… find anything and everything else to do after your homework is done. Being a teenager in high school has severely destroyed your social life, so hanging out with friends is not an option. But no need to worry, you got your siblings to hang out with and chores to do—chores that you should have done over the weekend, but didn’t, thanks to Netflix.

The fourth and final step to success is to avoid Netflix at any cost. If this means acting like the T.V./laptop that you watch it on has the plague, then go for it. There are many other things to do, such as stare at a wall and imagine yourself watching Netflix. It’s better than actually doing it, right? (Or you could always eat more food. Food is always good. OR EXERCISE.)

*

*

*

*

Who am I kidding? Netflix rules!! I hear it calling my name right now. So with that being said, SEE YA.