Apotheosis

The Look by Lily Nederveld ’19

it’s midnight now, and you continue to scroll

staring at the tiny waisted, tan, bleach blonde,

face tuned faces and figures

those girls on your screen seem happy and perfect

they have “the look.” why aren’t you the same?

 

you try to be them, start spending more money

skip out on that pizza, you like kale, right?

hit the gym harder, running miles until your vision blurs

if you don’t have a calorie deficit are you even trying at all?

 

months drag on of tireless effort

to shed the pounds off the weight of your individuality

straighten your curls, whiten your teeth

repeating over and over: beauty is pain

 

ah, look at you, you’re finally thin!

you have the outfits, the body,

you check all of the basic boxes

so what you’re groggy, tired, weak, you’re one of those girls now

 

every once in a while, you catch yourself

you’re not happy, focusing on what matters

emptiness replaces what you thought would be there

too hollow to waste time on authenticity

 

it’s midnight now, and you continue to scroll

staring at the tiny waisted, tan, bleach blonde,

face tuned pictures on your profile

at last you have “the look”

you’re happy now.. right?

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